The whole problem of man is that his mind, because of its ignorance, does not understand the nature of its feelings. Wisdom is when the mind becomes aware of the nature of its feelings and the consequences they have on its desires and thoughts.
Self-awareness is a hot " Yes " inside. The hot " Yes " is the love of one's destiny. A hot " Yes "makes it easy to say" No "to all the vices and temptations of the outside world that do not meet the interests of your"YES".
Your problem is that you are a greedy and sad person, you have no faith… You're afraid to do useless things. Remember, there is nothing useless, any action is an act of faith, and therefore there is hope for a miracle.
You say you need to buy time, but why do you need time? You want to flush all your time down the toilet? Do you like delicious food, rest and fun? Congratulations, your life is a living hell, but you already know that.
The purpose of the devil's temptations is to deprive you of your faith... that is, to restrict your movements. The devil undermines your faith with doubts. The devil tempts you with pleasure and rest... " Why should you go anywhere? - says the devil... - lie down, rest, and let it make itself. I'll give you everything, just wait."
If you replace fear, you will also replace shame. Now that the shame is outside of you, you are very dependent on other people's opinions and are bound by a sense of guilt. You should be ashamed not outwardly,but inwardly. Self-shame is called a sense of conscience. Conscience is restraint from the inside, and guilt is restraint from the outside.
Before you fall in love with the illusion of feelings or are afraid of them, try to compare this situation with the movie. You're smart enough not to fall in love with movies and go crazy with horror movies, aren't you? You should treat all your other emotions in the same way.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that the future will fail you, and so you don't trust it in return? Think about how the future relates to your own expectations. You create your own expectations, you fulfill them yourself by performing an act of faith. Who exactly do you not trust, not yourself?