Dependence on external opinion is a violation of the commandment "do not judge" with someone else's hands. You go into a passive position, look for a judge, try to bribe him and demand a favorable sentence for you. If the judge is incorruptible, it creates wild fear and anger in you.
Dependence on someone else's opinion is the inability to independently answer the question " Who am I?". Such people are cunning manipulators, they really want to make the mirror lie, giving wishful thinking.
The inferiority complex generates megalomania and the question " Who Am I?"A person divided in two does not understand whether he is good or bad. "Who Am I?"- the person asks each counter. And if people say, "You are good," the person falls into pride and megalomania. Having become imbued with pride, a person begins to force people to lie, calling him good.
A narcissist is a person who is dependent on someone else's assessment in the sense that he has pushed all the negative assessments of himself out of his head. Since there was no self-criticism left in this person, he lost his immunity to criticism. Now this person only wants to hear from others how good and perfect he is.
To the question of dependence on other people's ratings, can I ask you, on whose opinion exactly are you going to depend? What do ants think? Ants think about food, twigs and leaves, sand, mushrooms and aphids... What does it have to do with you and your business? Are you food? Can I eat you? Or don't you have enough sex?
The feeling of your own uselessness is a sign of pride. You cry, everything is useless and no one needs it. You don't love yourself. You try to judge other people in your pride. What do you need? If you don't need yourself, why do others need you?
When you are told that you are bad, if you believe it, you will fall into pride. If you don't believe it, you'll get proud. If you fall into pride, you will fall into fear, paranoia, and schizophrenia. Don't judge. Say: "I am not bad or good, I am what I am. I'm real."
It is difficult to live appealing to many judges. Man is dependent on his judges. It's hard to be dependent on everyone. Let you have only one judge left. Tell yourself, God is my Judge. What will God say about me?
A person who is dependent on someone else's opinion very much wants someone else's approval and thinks something like this: "What approval? From whom? From this gray mass? I don't care about them, I'm out of the crowd."
The fear that I might be scolded is pride and self-denial. Pride is self-denial. Pride is a lie that I'm bad. The lie that I am bad creates a denial of lies and a new lie... I am perfectly good. Humility is the realization of the integrity of truth.
The narcissistic person can't stand being bad and craves love. If a child tries to be "I am good" all the time, he will begin to deny himself "I am bad". You can not praise the child all the time, you need to scold him periodically, otherwise an extremely sensitive person will grow up, dependent on external good attitude.
Self-pity can be seen as a drug breakdown, due to lack of external love. They don’t love me, a person dependent on love experiences and cries. To stabilize the situation, you need to fast and suffer steadily, waiting for the body to clear itself and be ready to love again.
Is it possible destroy the sun by ignoring it? You closed your eyes and the sun disappeared? You hid in the night, but what does the sun care? God is the sun… You can use the sun, you can not use it, it's your own business. Moreover, even if you want to renounce the sun, you can't do it.
There are different ways to calm your fear of people. Imagine that people are abstract functions or ephemeral forms of things. Fear is a function, an information signal. Fear suggests that the boundaries of the forms converge, an accident or absorption is possible. On the other hand, both the form itself and the fear it generates are all illusions.
Everyone is afraid of being thought badly of. This is normal, we all live in a society. On the other hand, given that everyone is focused on themselves, people think about others solely about their attitude to themselves.
Your desire for everyone to agree with you and intolerance of other people's opinions is also pride. What is surprising is that your life is a continuous burden against the background of rare bursts of contrasting pleasure, necessary for you not to get used to your suffering. The sinner must suffer; it is not good if he gets used to suffering and so exhausts it.
The crucifixion Jesus on the cross is a metaphor that your faith should not be dependent on other people's opinions. Even if your love has been crucified, you must be the one to resurrect it. True love is good because no matter how many times it is crucified, there are those who will rekindle the flame of love.