Narcissists are said to have problems with empathy and not feeling other people.  These are narcissists of Type A. narcissists of Type B act the other way around.  They have an excess of sensitivity that makes them dependent on narcissists of Type A. narcissist Type B sticks like an emotional vampire to Type A and sucks energy from him.  Type B narcissists are so-called codependents, sonarcissists, inverted narcissism.

Behind the veil of sanctity and sacrifice, codependency or narcissism is usually hidden.

Narcissists and sonarcissists are essentially two identical people, but one of them allowed himself to love and, having dissolved in love, became a codependent.  The second forbade himself to love, because he is afraid of losing himself.  The problem with both of these people is a lack of self-love and self-respect.  The slightly bolder one attacked and became a codependent slave.  The one who is more cowardly, defends himself and became the master.  At the same time, the sonarcissist, having dissolved into the narcissist, longs for power over him, but the narcissist also longs for power over his slave, because he has become a part of him.  The narcissist's thirst for power is a thirst for self-control and integrity, a fear of losing oneself.

A   codependent   is   also   an   addict   because   he   is   an   empath   who   does   not   love   himself,   and   his   partner   is   a   narcissist.   The   empath   depends   on   the   narcissist's   sense   of   self-satisfaction.

A codependent person is motivated by the fact that the object of her dependence realizes her vital needs.  Moreover, she is afraid to directly ask for implementation, so she turns into a manipulator.  The manipulator uses grievances, complaints, claims, insults, etc.  What needs?  Money, sex, tenderness, kindness, things, love, etc.

Despair is the cure for sonarcissism and addiction.  The idolater thought he would perish without the glass idol of his illusions.  And now the glass house is broken, and life goes on, nothing has changed.  Despair is a revelation and an epiphany.

The roles of alcoholic, persecutor and Savior are unified and correspond to one game.  If an artist starts playing any of these fields, the actors for the second two automatically appear.  This is an important point for co-dependent spouses of alcoholics.

A codependent woman, depending on her attitude towards an alcoholic, may have a desire to blame or take care of him.  Both desires are sublimations of the lust for power.

If a person has a lot of garbage and negativity in the unconscious, then the marriage partner of this person is likely to personify all these hidden sins and vices.  The point is that the primary love for the opposite will give a feeling of blissful release of tension and forgiveness of oneself.  This feeling of bliss, lightness and freedom is often perceived as love.

What   you   call   falling   in   love,   a   feeling   of   lightness   and   freedom,   is   just   the   removal   of   inner   tension   and   humility   with   the   negated   within   yourself.   You   find   a   big   opposite   outside   of   yourself,   against   which   you   forgive   yourself.   Your   love   is   a   way   to   forgive   yourself   your   sins   and   escape   from   endless   anxiety   and   inner   tension.

The ideal codependent is the enlightened narcissist.  A codependent is a person with an inferiority complex who himself dreams of becoming an ideal narcissist.  However, the ideal narcissist is a suicide bomber.  The perfect narcissist burns in hell.  The sins of this person are inexhaustible, alcoholism, drug addiction, lust, vanity, obsession with the thirst for power and pleasure.  This man stands on the edge of the abyss of the ideal, which is despair and death.  In this sense, it is especially dangerous when parents project their ideal onto their children.  The ideal child is doomed.

The problem of women is codependency and the desire to save those people that she loves.  However, the Savior harms the situation more than he helps it.  It is right to speak, and let them save themselves.  Saving the drowning – the work of the drowning themselves.  To take on the fears, pains, and sins of others is to multiply them.

When a codependent woman takes on someone else's negative emotions, she multiplies them and gives them to her loved ones, for example, children.  Children are not able to withstand such emotions and stress, so they often get sick.

Codependency arises  the fact that the system of goals of the codependent is too connected with the system of goals of the one on whom he depends.

The main problem of people is too much love, which is expressed in the thirst for control, jealousy and codependency.  At the same time, when love burns out, an extreme of lack of love is formed, which is also terrible.

A codependent person is a savior who, among other things, increases his self-esteem due to the illusions of his usefulness.  It seems to the rescuer that while he saves, he is important and useful.  If the rescuer has no one to save, it will ruin his life.

On the one hand, you have the right to kick him out, because he is a goat, and it's hard for you to control yourself.  You can try to drive him away, you can leave.  But you can treat this situation as a training of some of your useful skills.  For example, Buddhism has told us that happiness is related to the quelling of desires.  Christina taught us to pacify thoughts and passions, they are desires.  Try to follow the path of improvement and use the negative situation to make yourself better.  Now you are co-dependent on him, you want something from him, often judge him and want to save him.  Try telling yourself:  "I will not do any of this, I will focus on what is available to me, on what I can do."  He's a Ram, I can't turn a ram into a man, but I can shear him.  Try to take from him what happens, and otherwise shift the emphasis on yourself.  And this position does not prevent you from demanding that he stop drinking and yell at him.  It is in your power to ask and demand, the results do not concern you, and the actions are completely in your power.

And remember your codependency.  You consider your husband a part of yourself, judge his actions, try to save and direct.  And there is no sense from this and never happens, not for you alone, but for all.  Imagine you have a neighbor, and he gave you money in the morning, and at night he drank and fucked.  What do you care about his night?  You are happy with the money that fell from the sky.  In this sense, the word husband spoils the picture.  It seems that the husband owes something, it seems that he belongs to you, but the husband does not agree with this and all your "must"  sabotaging it.  Of course, it can be kicked out, and this is a good option.  However, you can not expel it, so you need to work with what is.

Codependency happens  from pride and the feeling that the person you depend on belongs to you and owes you something.  For example, it should feed and water you, be your source of energy and protect.  That is, you are a flea, you crave submission from the dog whose blood you drink.  She resists it in every way.  I will say even tougher.  The parasite has captured the brain of its victim and craves submission from him and is very upset that it does not work out very well.

When the husband is extremely active and addicted to vices, it causes the wife to take a restrained opposite position and spend all her energy slowing down and holding back.  This is a very dangerous situation of codependency, turning a woman into a passive person and hindering her personal growth and movement.  Many women in this situation are terrible  they suffer, feeling the lack of life, growth and development within themselves.  All the energy of a woman is concentrated on slowing down the tearing active man and she has no strength left for her life, development and movement.

In the system of unity and struggle of opposites, the forces of both sides increase.  The greater the inhibitory force of a woman, the greater the reactivity of a man.  For a woman, this situation leads to passivity and slowing down, and a man has too much activity.  In general this situation is standard and has  makes sense, but there's another option.  For example, a woman can stumble from a man, break her codependency and stop slowing him down.  In this situation, the woman will regain the ability to move and joy, and the man will quickly burn out or stumble and fall into the pit, which will also not be bad.

The situation when the husband becomes a slave to his passions and moves away  from the wife, redirecting their passions to the outside, is useful for a woman that can contribute to her inner self-development and liberation from codependency.  The wife herself is a slave of passion for her husband and in this phenomenon there is her chance to gain freedom, become a mature woman and establish a firmer control over her husband.

You are tormented by guilt that you could not be perfect and create a perfect relationship.  You did something wrong and therefore the relationship broke up, you could not save them, could not find an approach to a partner.  There's some truth to this, but chances are you're just a codependent addict and your partner is a narcissist and paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.  In any case, all these relationships were sick and there was nothing to save.  As he said  Nietzsche, push the falling one, and sleep well.

An alcoholic is an analogue of a dog-man, that is, a master  Sharikova from the work "Dog  The Heart" By Mikhail Bulkagov.  Sharikov's guilt and sin are clear.  A question from the audience.  What is the fault of a codependent loved one.  What is the fault of the alcoholic's wife?  Why did the alcoholic's wife get a dog husband?  The sin of an alcoholic's wife is a thirst for love, and not just love, but special love.  The alcoholic's wife needed perfect love.  She wanted to be loved as a dog loves its master.

Codependency is when a person appropriates the life of a second person, making it his own.  In this sense, codependency is a thirst for power and pride.

The task of the codependent, recognizing the vice, stop totally helping the dependent person.  A codependent is one who serves vice a second time, helping with money and saving the slave of Vice.  The problem of the codependent is his passionate desire to be perfect.  A codependent cannot bear to be offended and angry.  Whereas the dependent person is the embodiment of resentment, who mortally resents all who do not want to serve him and his vice.

Suicide   is   when   you   live   someone   else's   life.   Suicide   is   when   you   constantly   think   about   what   some   other   person   is   doing,   you   live   by   his   emotions,   actions   and   goals.   It's   also   called   codependency.   The   codependent   seems   to   lose   his   face,   erases   his   identity,   gives   his   energy   to   the   character   of   the   film,   and   he   becomes   a   spectator   on   the   couch.   The   TV   is   a   vampire,   it   sucks   the   energy   out   of   the   viewer,   emptying   him.   And   it   doesn't   matter   if   you   watch   TV   or   you   are   codependent   on   your   alcoholic   and   drug   addict   husband,   or   maybe   you   have   a   love   addiction…   The   result   is   the   same.

The codependent gets into the position where he has to fulfill the desires and serve the one whom he considers his property and whom he wants to own.  Otherwise, he will be torn apart by internal contradictions.  Thus, the codependent subconsciously serves Vice, because the dependent wants nothing more than to serve his master.

It is not good when a rider becomes a slave to a horse.  A horse-dependent rider is what is called a codependent.  Such a person takes on too many other people's emotions.  The problem of the codependent is fusion and the absence of personal boundaries. the codependent personifies himself with the dependent.  The pity of the codependent for the dependent is about the same as the self-pity of the rider for his horse.

As soon as you feel sorry for someone, you become codependent.  It is a pity when you break your boundary, achieve fusion and capture another person into your property.  After that, you, on the one hand, become an aggressor, hungry for power, on the other, you become a victim, because now you have to serve your master.  A codependency relationship is one of slaves and Masters, parasites and victims.  Such relationships are useful to redefine into partnerships, reasonable people.

Comparing people with siblings is good, but you can still compare with friends and girlfriends.  And if a codependent wife needs to get rid of her dependent husband, then you need to compare him with a friend.

Self-pity is The Codependency of the soul from the body, that is, the rider from the horse, as well as all his vices and dependencies.  Pity is codependency on another person, as well as on his sins and vices.  And do not confuse compassion and pity, compassion is love, and pity is pride, thirst for power and pleasure.

When you are permeated with self-pity, you become the victim and slave of your horse, that is, your body and ego.  In order for the rider to free himself from codependency to the horse, he must cease to consider it property.  The idea is not to help the horse, not to help the vice.

It seems to the neurotic that one can love only what is inside him, therefore his love is always a thirst for power, possession and codependency.  Neurotic as water, he seeks to merge, breaks the distance and takes everything too close to his heart.

The idol, for educational and manipulative purposes, often tries to throw the idolater, hoping that he will howl  from pain and will crawl on his knees to reconcile, agreeing to all conditions.  To escape this situation, the codependent idolater must turn the situation inside out.  It is necessary to feel the joy of freedom and direct fear to the return of the idol of the slave owner.  It is terrible that the idol will want to return and again deprive you of freedom, turning life into hell.

A codependent close relative or friend of the alcoholic must transcend his desire to be good and perfect, and be tough on the alcoholic.  Codependents are too eager to be good, too respectful of the alcoholic's desires, when you have to be bad, very bad, for that person to feel the problem.  Alcoholics become aware of the problem only after crossing the border and feeling the pain.  The problem of a codependent person is pride, the desire to be perfect and the thirst for love. 

And what is the difference between love and codependency?

Is there anything you can do?  Do you need to do something?  The concept of codependency is when you think about someone, instead of  instead of thinking about their own affairs.  What do you care if he drinks?  You expend a tremendous amount of your energy to keep him from doing things you don't want him to do.  In the end, he still does what he wants, and you do not have enough energy for yourself. 

A dependent is a slave to Vice who lives in hell.  The codependent is the one who envies the burning in hell, and believes his boastful tales of how to live well and joyfully.  A codependent is someone who has not yet gone to hell, but suffers very much that he has not yet found a warm place in hell.

A codependent is a person who has a large inferiority complex and therefore he really likes to be useful, help or save someone.

Alcohol makes a person either good or evil.  Depending on its primary dominant.  A codependent close family member benefits from this anyway.  Therefore, any struggle of a codependent with the dependence of his partner is a quiet sabotage and provocation.

The wife of an alcoholic has an interest in the fact that the alcoholic is in some cases a very kind, submissive and serving person.  Such a good man awakens in a woman the desire to own and rule.

To forgive a neighbor his sins is to say:  "Burn yourself for your sins in hell, and I do not need it, I will go from here."  Your offense and unforgiveness is codependency with The Sinner and sharing with him his hellish sufferings.

A codependent is someone who burns in hell for company.  The Sinner, the slave of vices, burns in hell for his pride and vices, and the codependent burns next to him for his pride, which is expressed in the thirst for love, insults, thirst for power, thirst for ideality, etc.

I noticed that not only is an alcoholic man obsessed with pride, and uses alcohol to pacify his pride, but the codependent wife of an alcoholic is also obsessed with her pride and, of course, if this man stops drinking for even a moment, then the attack of his wife, thirsting for superiority, money, power, will be deadly and lightning fast.  Instead of a wife, this role can be performed by a mother or father.  Instead of an alcoholic, there may be any other vice, mental disorder or illness.

A codependent wife or mother should realize that the dependent is protected by his vice or illness, among other things  from the pride of their loved ones, who want the best and more.  The mother feeds the vanity of the child and drives him crazy.  The wife, by talking about money, cars, apartments and vacations, feeds greed and an inferiority complex.  I also noticed that the codependent craves power and control.  And vice offers salvation  from shame and pride.  Vice offers freedom.  Vice says:  "I am the savior."

A codependent woman, the wife of an alcoholic, can deny her pride.  More  She may even be sick of her husband's hypocrisy and complacency, but that doesn't change anything.  If we dig into the soul of this woman, there will be a lot of greed and vanity that this man feeds on.

The neurotic's problem is selfishness.  This man does not know how to love anything but himself.  To love something external, the neurotic must feel his possession of it, which makes him codependent and he loses control of himself.  The neurotic is looking for an ideal in order to make it his part and love it.  Healing  from neurosis it is healing  from codependency.  It is necessary to love selflessly what you do not possess.

A codependent is a slave.  To become a free man, you should stop thinking of yourself as a master.  A codependent often imagines himself a master and craves power.

Loss of self-control is associated with codependency.  A person breaks his boundaries, makes expansion and tries to master something external.  After that, all the vices, desires, sins, sufferings and pain of the external become his own.  It is easy for a person to cope with himself, but when his power is dispersed, a person weakens and everything gets out of control.  Do not try to dominate, and you will not be a slave.