Where does the heaviness of life come from? The heaviness is generated by the thirst for power and endless senseless struggle with everyone you meet. The hero is vain and considers it his duty to win everywhere and always.
Eric Byrne talked about games and scenarios, but he forgot to say what the point of all these games is. They like to win and dominate. On the other hand, if games are treated more simply, without turning them into psychosis, then they can be fun and joyful.
We can say that Neurosis consists of two parts. The first part is the need for growth, development and Vanity. In the first part, the neurotic craves greatness and power. The second part has to do with justifying the impossibility of satisfying this greedy Vanity. The neurotic has to come up with an excuse for himself, why he is not perfect and does not grow well. Such an excuse can be alcoholism, other vices, external failures, hallucinations, fear, illness, fatalism, sun spots, etc.
The relationship of the neurotic and the narcissist is like the relationship of inferiority complex and megalomania. Basically, narcissism is a form of neurosis, or neurosis is a form of narcissism. In fact, these are two facets of the same phenomenon.
The development of consciousness is associated with the accumulation of experience. Experience can be accumulated only in the process of achieving a goal. Usually such a goal is superiority or pleasure. However, superiority itself is a pleasure. And even if the goal is to escape from fear and weakness, then the absence of fear and strength is also a source of pleasure. As for me, I think the safest pleasure is to be found in the service of beauty and art, knowledge and science.
Earlier we talked about basic shame and basic lust for power. It's time to talk about the basic grievance. Resentment defines a person's entire life, turning it into hell. Resentment turns a man into a horse. They carry water to the offended. Remember, if your life is filled with resentment, then you are doomed. Try to pacify your grievances.
It is said that the main motor motive of the brain is the thirst for reward. And this is both the biggest problem of the brain and the cause of neurosis. The brain does not understand its current benefits and always requires an additional reward, which creates an overkill harmful to everything in the world. If a person realizes that the idea of reward, although Sweet, is poisonous, then this will give a chance to pacify resentment, thirst for power, fear, anxiety. Tell yourself that reward is an opportunity, dangerous and fraught with obesity or slavery to Vice. Fear the Rewards. To do good unselfishly is joyful, but the reward deprives you of freedom.
To escape neurosis and narcissism, you need to devalue the idea of reward. The reward can be taken if it is given, but in general, it is a poison and a source of suffering. The reward deprives you of your freedom and makes you a slave. Tell yourself: "I received a reward-let it be. Not getting a reward is even better." Reward is a limiter, it's what limits your growth and strength. Reward should be seen as a natural defense against overkill, a stop sign, then you need to stop your joyful growth. Good should be a little.
Usually, anxiety and lust for power can be reduced to the concept of thirst for reward. A person is afraid not to receive a reward. A person craves power to guarantee a reward.
As for scandals, everyone has their own truth. You should respect your own truth, you should respect someone else's truth. All other things being equal, you need to treat everything without fanaticism. The truth is always a thirst for power. All the talk about justice and equality is always a thirst for power. We all crave power, and there's nothing we can do about it, but we can be comfortable with limiting our own and others ' power. There is nothing wrong with limiting the thirst for power or not receiving rewards. Given-good, not given-even better. Power and reward is an opportunity, but it is not a value for which you need to worry and fear.
Archetypes Jung and Byrne's scripts and plays relate to each other, as do the actors and their roles. Archetypes are actors, pure energy, who are looking for a role and suitable scenarios.
The idea that I'm supposed to be loved by everyone and that I'm so perfect is a surefire path to resentment, frustration, depression, post-traumatic shock, avoidant disorder, persecution mania, and paranoia.
Jungian archetypes are like the demons and gods of human consciousness who wish to play games. These are the very Games that he talks about Eric Byrne.
Being a slave to the game is not as fun as it sounds. Has the point is to understand the rules of the game and realize the illusory nature of the game. The game should be treated more simply, as a frivolous entertainment. Tension and fantasy Poison the game.
The idea of a miracle solves the problem of powerlessness very well. Seeing a goal that cannot be solved by force, a person retreats and refuses from the idea of fighting. Refusing from the idea of struggle, which generates a feeling of powerlessness, a person comes to the idea of Hope, Play, excitement. Lucky-good, unlucky-well, okay, it's a game.
Adler's lust for superiority, Jung's self, Freud's sexual energy, Berne's play are all the same, expressed in different words and from different angles.
The female Savior Complex and pity for a man is pride and the desire to become perfect, turning a woman's life into hell. A man who manipulates love through pity, power, and fear craves power. Having fallen into the clutches of such a man, a woman falls into the slavery of a monster. I have seen many women who could not refuse a man from pity or fear that he would feel bad, that he would commit suicide. Always such a scenario led a woman's life to disaster.
Many people are able to speak words very professionally and beautifully, making other people empathize and sympathize with themselves. "I am the victim," the man cries, and I look at him and see him like a blade, sharp teeth dripping with blood.
Suicide Is Rage and revenge. An attempt to say "I am not appreciated and not loved.".. No one wants to obey me. If I cannot rule, then I cannot live. Life is power to me. No power, no life. The suicide says: "Either you submit to me or I will take revenge on you. I'll kill myself and you'll be ashamed. Shame will hurt you and it will be my revenge." The suicide is a proud man, and his revenge is directed at the Proud, who are afraid of shame and pain. As for us, we have subdued our pride, so we are not afraid of shame and pain. Accordingly, the Revenge of a suicide is ridiculous to us.
The neurotic is afraid of the oppression of reality and constantly struggles with this reality, trying to proclaim his superiority. The task of the psychologist is to adapt the client to reality, connecting heaven and earth with a gradient border crossing. The neurotic is constantly wandering among his fictions, but the doctor must always point him to reality. Constant attention should be paid to the value of community and cooperation.
A person always has a goal. This goal is either conscious and conscious, or unconscious and unconscious. At the same time, all actions, one way or another, are subordinate to his goal and life plan. If a person does not like his actions and behavior, then he is not aware of his goal and it controls him through the unconscious.
The player taking part in the game consistently assumes all three roles: persecutor, victim, and Savior. Each player voluntarily accepts his role in order to learn the role of the opposite and in the future be able to play it.
Tell yourself: "I am a hunter, I enjoy the hunt, but not the prey. I will release all the loot or distribute it to whoever needs it. Hunting is like a sport and a game for me, hunting invigorates me."
Treat hunting as a game or training. The loot will all be released. You play with the prey, the prey is the second player. A hunter can also become a prey. Everyone is both Hunter and prey, so by agreement of the parties, all prey is released. The game is voluntary, no one should participate in the game against their will. Everyone should know about the game, but talking about the game is forbidden. The game is a mystery.
Everything exists in a state of slight deficiency, which is good and which can be trusted. On the other hand, everything that comes can be salted if you want.
Everything that irritates and infuriates a person is connected with his parents, and what he likes is connected with the child. If the parent-child relationship was strained, then whatever the child loves would be contrary to the parent's interests.
Baby is nice. Adult is useful. The parent is due. However, an integral person acquires integrity and unity, realizing a system of checks and balances within himself.
Too much sensitivity leads to the fact that the illusion invades reality, but reality starts the war first. Reality first declares war on the child, coming in the form of a power-hungry parent and declaring the child bad. A parent who wants to have a perfect child commits the original sin of plunging the world into hell.
You cannot identify your self with a child, an adult or a parent. One cannot identify oneself with pleasant, useful, or proper. You can not personify yourself even with movement. Tell yourself: "I am the void of the cosmos, even the hell of Dante and the universe it is not I but what is within me."
An antisocial and immoral person is not a real person, but one who arises out of denial and struggle with the All-Too-Human. The child, denying the parent's lust for power, becomes the immoral shadow of the parent, but does not become himself. To become yourself, you need to sever the parental umbilical cord and stop building yourself as a negative negative person.
First, the child associates himself with the parent, then denies himself from the parent, turning into a negative person, that is, emptiness. Next, the child goes to the outside world to find himself, to find what he loves and, filling himself with love, to create himself.
The personal conflict between the child and the parent is dangerous. When a child feels like a negative version of his parents, he deducts too much good and useful from himself. You can not consider parents bad, but you can not create idols from them, demanding their love.
The child lives in unreality. The adult lives in reality. The parent tries to build his superreality, a superstructure over reality. All three types of realities have the right to be equal to each other.
If your motive is resentment and thirst for apologies, you will look like a stalker from the outside. If you demand pity and apology, and your partner wants you, then he will become a victim. Feeling like a victim, he will also be offended and will also become an aggressor. As a result, you will swear. The only way out is to exclude resentment, victims, pity, claims from the scenario.
I've noticed that in games played by humans, the opponents are oddly similar. Who is the victim stalker fighting? Another victim. At the same time, each of the parties inside feels pity or a desire to save the situation, to come to some kind of dialogue and a happy solution.
The secret is that a drowning person cannot be saved and pitied. Saving the drowning – the work of the drowning themselves. The drowning man is saved by renouncing salvation and fighting. A drowning man drowns, because resentment and self-pity are heavy, plus he also requires external pity. All this drags to the bottom. To be saved, one must give up struggle, resistance, resentment and self-pity. When you are sucked into a whirlpool, you need to relax, stop struggling with the current, and then gradually slowly swim out, following the flow.
The sin of all players is lust for power. A resentful tyrant craves power. The victim craves power through pity. The Savior craves power through salvation. They all desire to rule through love. They all want fun.
They carry water to the offended, why are you offended? You probably pitied and became a victim. You probably wanted to be a savior and got involved in a war. You probably desired salvation, and your Savior became your master.
The narcissist is very fond of blaming other people for their sins. The narcissist thinks of himself as perfectly sinless, so he displaces all his mistakes from himself, projecting them onto the people around him.
The offended and self-pitying seek someone who would pity him. The one who pities him will become his victim, and the offended person himself will turn into a persecutor. The one who believes the wronged and wants to save him will also turn into a persecutor. The wronged person will feel persecuted and will seek to do the opposite, and will declare war on the persecutor who wants to save him.