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A Healthy Family.


Psychology and Philosophy of Family Relations.

A family is not just a marriage of two people, but a united symbiotic organism that once achieved synergetic wholeness. A united wholeness appears where once there were two people, and this wholeness is quite larger than the sum of all its details. The essence of family is in getting enough energy for providing future generations. The essence of family is children. Attaining harmony and happiness in a relationship is a high art. As a master of a family, a woman is supposed to know this art as it will influence happiness and success of all family members.

 


   

AR

   

Foreword


3813.   AR AR

Dramatically reduce the number of divorces is quite easy. You need to divorce every couple forced to undergo therapy with a psychologist. People have lost the culture of family life, they do not know how to live together. Such therapy will save up to 70% of marriages.

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3820.   AR AR

People  get  married  and  divorced  for  the  same  reason  most  often  and  the  reason  is  loneliness.

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4205. To spouses.   AR AR

Argue  and  fight  but  sleep  together  at  night. 

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Art by Amateur (Dotsenco)

  1

               

174.   AR AR

People  can't  get  along  together  because  of  stupidity
rather  than  because  of  incompatibility,  differences,
intolerance  etc  like  most  people  think...All  these  human
little  peccadillos  are  nothing  more  than  the  result  of
the  poverty  of  intellect  in  the  body.

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4.355.   AR AR

A storm in a glass of water is a symbol of a limited and manageable scandal to relieve tension and stress. Family and other relationships useful such scandals out of nothing, to avoid these storms.

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187.   AR AR

The  most  important  thing  in  family  relations 
is  to  spare  the  feelings  of  near  of  kin... 
After  all,  any  word  or  action 
will  be  taken  as  of  tenfold  strength... 

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7.14.   AR AR

Love "just like that" is a hoax.  No one wants to serve anyone just like that, everyone counts on something.

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9.46.   AR AR

A  man  needs  a  woman  for  keeping  touch  with  reality.  A  man  is  a  potential  god-creator,  he  always  tries  to  create  a  new  world  and  get  lost  in  it  after  having  lost  touch  with  reality.

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9.528.   AR AR

In  order  to  help  a  man  become  a  Creator,  there  should  be  a  woman  who  believes  in  him.

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835.   AR AR

The  worst  enemy  of  a  family  is  the  parents  of 
the  spouses...  As  a  rule  with  their  good  intentions 
the  road  to  hell  is  paved... 

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10.7036. Consensus.   AR AR

The most elegant solution to a family conflict is when a girl goes where all the girls usually go, and a boy goes where all the boys are sent.

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1547.   AR AR

A  person  gets  very  nervous  and  upset  when  they  don’t  trust  him.  Mistrust  can  be  compared  to  an  offence,  to  an  insult  .

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2177. Love for the "Beast"   AR AR

Surely  you  also  have  to  love  the  "Beast"  of  the  one  you  love. 

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Art by Olesy Zaharova

  1

               

10.6048.   AR AR

Usually an idealist is especially hated by all his close relatives.  The idealist worships his idol, and demands the same worship from all those dependent upon him.  Dependent people such ideological slavery is not happy.  For example, a man who is particularly fond of his parents will have serious conflicts with his wife and children.

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10.5364.   AR AR

After the birth of a child, a woman automatically restricts a man in sex, because sex greatly distracts from work and earning money.

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2195.   AR AR

A  constant  demonstration  of  love  is  what  one  really  needs. 
Love  is  ethereal.  You're  constantly  in  fear  of  losing  it... 
And  fear  brings  pain  and  discomfort  so  you  should  overcome  it. 
Demonstrations  of  love  is  what  can  help  you  get  rid  of  fears  to  be  happy. 

Love  is  a  very  precious  thing.  The  presence  of  love  brings  pain  because  one  is  constantly  afraid  of  losing  it.  "My  dear-  you  say  to  it.  -  You'll  be  forever  mine".  But  you're  talking  to  an  invisible  thing  and  that's  why  you  need  demonstrations  of  it.  Otherwise  you'll  simply  go  mental  from  fear  and  painful  feeling  that  you've  lost  it. 

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Art by Olesy Zaharova

  1

               

3675.   AR AR

The  biggest  threat  to  marriage  and  relationships  is  the  resentment  of  their  side.

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10.1265.   AR AR

Wives demand attentiveness, inattention to wives breeds fear in wives and turns them into standard fairy witches.

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10.1353.   AR AR

What is an unhappy family? 
- Two dead men in one coffin.  The unfortunates toss, push and snore, preventing each other from sleeping.

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6.357. Family ritual Number 6.   AR AR

Once a boy and a girl got married, but the marriage quickly collapsed. The reason was cognitive dissonance and an irresistible pattern. The girl in the family dad gave mom money, and she went shopping, buying food. And the boy in the family had money from his father, and they went shopping with his mother, together chose and dad paid. In General, the boy could not give her his money, and she could not stand the fact that the money was not given to her.

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6.630.   AR AR

In a family conflict, the best solution to cognitive dissonance is to run away for half an hour, and then whoever is smarter and stronger should come, apologize, maybe give flowers or some other gift, and reduce it to sex. Such a scenario will further strengthen the family. It is necessary to extinguish the desire to escape and encourage yourself with hope. The man usually gives flowers and gifts to apologize, and the woman cooks food or seduces with sex. The other side should support reconciliation.

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4.2477.   AR AR

If   girls   aged   12-16   read   the   book   "Variothoughts"   (family,   relationships,   arrangement   of   men   and   women),   their   experience   of   relationships   and   family   life   would   not   be   as   miserable   and   nightmarish   as   99%   of   other   women.   I   know   very   few   women   who   are   happy   in   their   relationships,   but   men   are   also   happy   in   their   relationships.

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9.121.   AR AR

When  a  person  serves  what  he  loves,  he  is  a  hero  and  when  he  serves  everyone,  he  is  a  slave.

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9.50. Love and paranoia.   AR AR

A  woman  should  understand  that  most  men  are  paranoid  and  the  only  thing  that  can  make  them  sane  is  female  love  and  gentleness.  Otherwise,  a  man  may  become  a  loose  cannon  who  will  plunge  into  anger  and  grumpiness.  That's  why  it's  very  dangerous  for  a  woman  to  get  offended  by  a  man  and  show  her  irritation  or  indignation  to  him...  This  way  a  man  will  see  her  as  an  enemy  with  all  consequences  it  may  involve  (anger,  aggression,  attempts  to  get  rid  of  the  aggressor)...

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The beginning of the book


7.5.   AR AR

Avoid "hidden contracts", you never know what you have agreed with himself, still no one knows.  Better negotiate in plain text. 

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7.6.   AR AR

By default, no one owes you anything, but if you really want to be owed, arrange it openly in advance without any "hidden contracts".

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7.7. A proud sufferer.   AR AR

Ask,  and  it  shall  be  given  you,  but  many  people  do  not  want  to  ask  out  of  arrogance.  “We  don’t  want  to  ask  anything,”  they  say.  “We  want  that  it  be  given  to  us  just  like  that.  If  we  ask,  we  will  be  in  debt.”  Arrogance  turns  them  into  sinners  and  makes  them  suffer.

Ask,  and  it  shall  be  given  you,  but  many  people  do  not  want  to  ask  out  of  arrogance.  “We  don’t  want  to  ask  anything,”  they  say.  “We  want  that  it  be  given  to  us  just  like  that.  If  we  ask,  we  will  be  in  debt.”  Arrogance  turns  them  into  sinners  and  makes  them  suffer.

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8.3.   AR AR

The  main  weapon  of  a  woman  in  a  relationship  with  a  man  is  her  ability  to  reiterate  her  requests  again  and  again  until  she  gets  his  positive  response.

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8.9.   AR AR

Open  short-time  argument  between  a  husband  and  a  wife  is  a  great  way  to  express  all  the  resentment  and  complaints  that  are  in  their  hearts.

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172.   AR AR

Often  the  concepts  of  a  'Smart  woman'  and  a  'strong
woman'  are  associated  with  unhappy  family  life.
I  think  it's  nonsense...
Everything  is  always  orderly  arranged  in  a  smart  woman's
thoughts,  family  and  house...

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176.   AR AR

  A  balanced  apportionment  of  efforts  and  time: 

-  Working  for  bread  and  butter. 
-  Studies  and  self-education. 
-  Personal  life,  famil  and  relationships 
-  Leisure  time,  sport,  travelling 
-  Optional:  «hobbies  and  overarching  aims» 

These  items  may  often  be  interrelated  and  interconnected. 
There's  also  an  important  item  called  «hobbies  and  overarching  aims».  It  may  replace  or  go  well  with  any  of  the  first  four  items.  But  it's  important  in  this  balanced  apportionment  of  efforts  and  time  not  to  let  some  item  take  more  than  20%  of  efforts  and  energy. 

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209. Women who see love as a   AR AR

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273.   AR AR

Working  for  the  wife  and  children
the  man  grew  sickly  and  wore  out  fast  enough...
So,  who  is  going  to  feed  the  family  now?

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4.12.   AR AR

You can change a loved one only by changing yourself.  The form of a loved one depends on your form.

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416.   AR AR

The  hope  that  the  partner  will  change  is  one  of  the  main  reasons  of  divorce.

When  people  get  married  they  try  to  seem  to  be  the  ones  their  partners  want

them  to  be.  ..  but  later  ..

and  later  all's  the  way  it  comes…  it's  difficult  to  to  wear  a  mask  for

a  long  time  and  all  depends  entirely  on  the  partner's  attitude  to  the  new  face

without  its  mask  put  on.

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4.72. How to be human.   AR AR

The main problem with children is that people don't know how to be good parents.  The problem with families is that people don't know how to be a good husband or wife.  People don't know how to be good friends.  How to be an honest person.  How to be a good person.  How to be a strong person.  How to be human.

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4.87.   AR AR

The desire of Eros, if you do not find the exit, reborn in hatred of Thanatos.

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6.37.   AR AR

Before the birth of a child, the mother neurotically loves her husband, then her husband removes love and throws it on the child, the husband without love dies from the cold, and the child, on the contrary, love burns.  As a result, everyone suffers.

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7.10. Two of the egoist.   AR AR

An egoist is a person who doesn't want you to like him.  We like to take offense at those who do not want us to like, this offense is also called selfishness.

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7.11.   AR AR

We consider selfish and greedy people who do not want to give us something.  According to this logic, any person can be considered selfish and greedy.

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7.12.   AR AR

A man doesn't want you to like him because he doesn't see the reason.  Of course, this fact is very traumatic for your self-esteem and causes resentment.  But who's to blame, isn't it you?

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7.15.   AR AR

Greed and selfishness is the unwillingness to pay for love.  An egoist is a person who wants to be served for nothing.

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7.20. «Quid pro quo» system is called social barter.   AR AR

Social  barter  is  a  basis  for  social  division  of  labour.  Quid  pro  quo,  everyone  shares  what  he  has.  The  person  who  wants  to  be  loved  for  nothing  is  an  egoist  and  a  freeloader.  Every  person  should  bring  benefit.

Social  barter  is  a  basis  for  social  division  of  labour.  Quid  pro  quo,  everyone  shares  what  he  has.  The  person  who  wants  to  be  loved  for  nothing  is  an  egoist  and  a  freeloader.  Every  person  should  bring  benefit.

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7.21. The illusion of a contractual relationship.   AR AR

A person who does something for another person, secretly hoping to please him and for this wanting something from him, concludes a "black contract", that is, a one-sided contract, which is known only to him.  The second party, without ratifying such a contract, is free to execute it. 

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