The whole problem of man is that his mind, because of its ignorance, does not understand the nature of its feelings. Wisdom is when the mind becomes aware of the nature of its feelings and the consequences they have on its desires and thoughts.
Self-awareness is a hot " Yes " inside. The hot " Yes " is the love of one's destiny. A hot " Yes "makes it easy to say" No "to all the vices and temptations of the outside world that do not meet the interests of your"YES".
Your problem is that you are a greedy and sad person, you have no faith… You're afraid to do useless things. Remember, there is nothing useless, any action is an act of faith, and therefore there is hope for a miracle.
You say you need to buy time, but why do you need time? You want to flush all your time down the toilet? Do you like delicious food, rest and fun? Congratulations, your life is a living hell, but you already know that.
The purpose of the devil's temptations is to deprive you of your faith... that is, to restrict your movements. The devil undermines your faith with doubts. The devil tempts you with pleasure and rest... " Why should you go anywhere? - says the devil... - lie down, rest, and let it make itself. I'll give you everything, just wait."
If you replace fear, you will also replace shame. Now that the shame is outside of you, you are very dependent on other people's opinions and are bound by a sense of guilt. You should be ashamed not outwardly,but inwardly. Self-shame is called a sense of conscience. Conscience is restraint from the inside, and guilt is restraint from the outside.
Before you fall in love with the illusion of feelings or are afraid of them, try to compare this situation with the movie. You're smart enough not to fall in love with movies and go crazy with horror movies, aren't you? You should treat all your other emotions in the same way.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that the future will fail you, and so you don't trust it in return? Think about how the future relates to your own expectations. You create your own expectations, you fulfill them yourself by performing an act of faith. Who exactly do you not trust, not yourself?
I see a great imbalance in the crowd of those who know the world. Life they spend on the knowledge of the world, to spend a day learning about themselves not in their power. Meanwhile, the inner world is very similar to the outer world. Moreover, these two worlds exist in symbiosis and greatly influence each other. It is difficult to achieve harmony and balance between the inner and outer worlds, with such an imbalance of time and effort spent on knowledge and self-knowledge.
Mind is a self-learning algorithm of artificial intelligence, knowledge is necessary and joyful for it. Lack of knowledge will fill the brain with anxiety and fear, lead to the development of neuroses and depression.
What is pride? They say things that deny themselves suffer greatly. Things lacking humility. Content that does not want to accept its form tends to self-destruction and death. Pride is self-destruction due to lack of humility.
Your mental reactions should be recognized and treated with skepticism. Anger, irritation, depression, laziness are all control signals of the subconscious. However, a strong mind should not agree with the subconscious in everything. You have to ask yourself, why do you feel this way, maybe you're wrong?
Sense lies: I must lie, to me be loved. A lie is a self-contempt based on the idea that there is nothing to love yourself for. If people find out the truth about me, they won't love me. In fear of losing the love of a liar always lying.
What does not justify our dreams, causes irritation and desire to throw away, run away, get rid of it. It's because you misunderstand your dreams and the way things are. You buy clothes to be beautiful, and you're looking for love.
Animals cannot act differently from what their instincts demand from them. Humans can. Man has a free will. I want to be a human very much. I read a lot about real humans. I am not personally acquainted with any real human. They are said to have been extinct long ago or, rather, evolution has not created them yet.
You think if people don't pay attention to you, they don't love you. Don't get me wrong, there's no such thing as not loving. "Not to love" is something that doesn't exist. These people love something else, and you're useless to them. And than you can be helpful to them? Why should they love you? Why should they serve you?
Doing what you want is dangerous. You want to be offended, angry and yell... but there is a problem. You're misjudging reality. You don't understand what's going on. You feel like you're being bullied, but you're actually hurting and scaring people. This is all your fault. So who do you resent? Take offense at yourself, reflect on your inadequacy and stupidity, high expectations, pride and thirst for power.
You depend on the opinions of others, you are admired, you bloom, you are blamed, you cry... And you do not know how to love yourself, you do not know how to admire yourself and even with self-criticism you are terribly bad. My diagnosis for you: you're a child.
Do not blame your enemies, they are not your judges, they are only executioners, whose business it is to carry out the punishment. Your chief judge is yourself, and the executioners are just doing their job.