If we want to instill confidence in the interlocutor, so that he was not afraid, it is necessary to put him in an active position, and yourself artificially passive. However, since you artificially create this situation, you control it, and therefore it will save you from the fear of a passive position. In fact, we get a paradoxical situation when two active positions.
Suspiciousness is an automatic reaction of brute force to passivity and passive fear. Experiencing chronic fear from passivity and attempts to external control, subconscious includes suspiciousness in the hope provoke activity and destroy fear.
The best way to extinguish flames is not to put wood on the fire. The best way to dampen down a conflict is to keep silent or repent. It's also possible to attack but it takes great skills and superiority over an opponent. The best way to overblow a conflict is to find excuses and answer back.
The best way to extinguish flames is not to put wood on the fire. The best way to dampen down a conflict is to keep silent or repent. It's also possible to attack but it takes great skills and superiority over an opponent. The best way to overblow a conflict is to find excuses and answer back.
Don't jump to telling someone truth about himself, let him save face. Loss of one's face is a great insult, fraught with aggression and conflict. Even if someone is a scoundrel, snake and idiot, it's not always necessary to say it out loud.
Don't take hits from inconvenient adversaries, they often want to provoke you and involve into conflict, they feel your weakness, feel they can eat you and own your energy. Nearness of the food makes them aggressive, they attack you, barking, trying to provoke fight. The best you can do is shout “No! No, doggy”.
Man has two important needs: one is to become God and the other is to become a prophet. Since many want to be prophets and gods, competitors are very annoying to each other, which is a source of quarrels and conflicts. To avoid conflict, you should preach in secluded places (remember how the Apostle Peter preached in the desert). The eye of the outcast in the desert is clearly heard from afar. Who should, he will hear and he will come.
To spoil relations with a man as follows: to find fault, criticize, not praise, stand against him in argument and conflict, don't encourage him, take offense, interrupt, not listen to the end, get mad, swear, treat with contempt, mock, take off the mask, publicly reprove, deceive, pretend in its place, etc.
Inside a person, there`s the steam that should be blown off. It’s good for his health. Expressed offence is the weak one. Expressed fears and problems are not so scary. There are many situations when it’s necessary to tell things off.
You should not take offense at the interlocutor, who blows off the steam of his offences and complaints, because it calms the person down. If the person has an emotional burst, you should just listen to him sympathetically.
Want to follow yourself and keep track of their wishes and thoughts. Attempt to want and to think for other people monitoring their thoughts and behavior, reminiscent of pride and leads to conflict. It is necessary to control its territory up to the borders, to climb on someone else's territory forbid you.
If a person is beaten, punished and scolded, and then given a candy for it (a gift, a reward, an apology), a conditioned reflex will develop in a person that conflict is good. A person will cease to be afraid of aggression in his address, will begin to provoke conflicts. Familiar?
The conflicts and clarify the relationship doomed to failure. For all history of mankind we do not remember any fact of successful experience of clarification of the relations.
I consciously avoid structuring information too much and putting it into order inside the books of Variothoughts in an attempt to avoid conflict with chaos. If chaos sees a major strengthening of order, it will go all out to break everything down. Where is the good of it for me?
That's how it is loved... loved someone, then had an argument even started to feel hatred, and time passed …and the person visits dreams… Visits dreams every day…and the dreams aren't about the past... no …no … the dreams are about the alternate… … as it was said, guard love…guard it. … but alas... it's a theory… but in practice: one lost it and dream about it all one's life. … a very painful feeling… approximately a hundred times worse than any offences and conflicts that led to it...
Hens are not always eaten, some of them lay golden eggs. A sheep is a valuable source of wool. Donkeys can work for you well. And one better buy a more powerful opponent off or avoid direct conflicts, than risk one's head fighting him.
It's almost always a woman to blame for breaking up with a man as when she gets disappointed in a relationship, she starts to provoke conflicts and the relationship ends.
A woman should understand that most men are paranoid and the only thing that can make them sane is female love and gentleness. Otherwise, a man may become a loose cannon who will plunge into anger and grumpiness. That's why it's very dangerous for a woman to get offended by a man and show her irritation or indignation to him... This way a man will see her as an enemy with all consequences it may involve (anger, aggression, attempts to get rid of the aggressor)...
The metaphor of the conflict of forest and trees associated with the proverb "the country needs coal much, but small". For a tree it is important, first of all, to win a place under the sun. Let in grove trees will small, not it is important. Time will pass and they will grow.
One of the most stereotypical behavior patterns of parents towards their adult children (teenage and adult ones) is that when a child tells the parents something about his or her life, plans and success etc, and instead of support, encouragement or sharing joy... instead of it all the child gets a stream of words full of negative things such as negative portrayal of the future or a story that nothing will succeed or that even if it already succeeded it's still bad and there are only enemies around. All talks of that kind hurt ten times more when it comes to kith and kin and envenom any joy of a person's life, evoke an awful inferiority complex and make a child think about failures and bad confluence of circumstances. It all results into the generation gap conflict, which makes parents argue with their children and breaks family ties.
The pattern usually takes the following two forms: 1. When a child wants to show his or her source of pride and share the joy or be boastful, the child shares emotions in hope of being supported. But instead of it the child gets a stream of negative things or indifference that negates the thing of pride. For instance, a long list of problems involved, questions and any bullshit in general. Thus happiness is stolen from the person. As without it all one would be happy for a while longer and this way all happiness is simply taken away. It causes negativity, nervous breakdowns, etc. 2. When a child speaks about some performed or planned actions that are still to be finished. The goal of this talk is to get some moral support. But instead of it the child gets a bunch of negative precautions concerning the development of circumstances. As a result, not only it poisons the soul but also it makes one think about a negative scenario. A person loses heart, feels depressed and has nervous breakdowns and it ruins personal life and career as well as all those processes this person is related to. Later a situation like this results into them saying: "Didn't we warn you?"...
Ways of struggling: When people/children share their plans or joy, wishing to get moral support then their joy should be shared and the support should be given. All talks and moments concerning "sharing fears" and setting a person for having problems should be done very carefully and not at once but a bit later in some time. Besides, telling about problems should be done in the form - "a problem plus ways to solve it". Besides, in most situations this shouldn't be done at all. As not letting people make mistakes we deprive them of their best teacher- life. Mistakes are meant to give lessons and make people better. Not taking lessons means committing a sin. What's more it's only providence that knows the future and fortune telling should be done by professionals, for instance by stock traders. If one really feels like seeing into the future, this person should go to stock to earn millions instead of wasting skills. There's also an idea that advice should be offered only when they ask for it. As offering unsolicited advice is something like a sin. Exchanging information between people is a volunteer mutually useful process and it should mean readiness for this exchange on both sides.
As for children whose parents practice "pattern 66", they should refrain from discussing their plans, intentions, personal life and career with their parents. It's preferrable to refrain from sharing joy with parents and only talk about their life, health etc. Generally, to talk only about parents themselves or about weather and not about one's own plans.
However, if one wants, one may listen to negative analytics about how one shouldn't live and how something won't work and generally make all negative predictions as clear as a bell...One may set one's mind neutral towards the information as if it's not about oneself but something general worth listening to. However, there is still some danger to program oneself for negative things or at least to spoil one's own mood.
P.S. Parents who practice "pattern 66" are undoubtful candidates for burning in HELL.
Sorting the past events out is unreasonable and is likely to even be harmful. You`d better discuss and talk about future events, they still can be influenced.
There's an opinion that men don't like smart women.It should be explained. Actually, everyone loves really smart people, both men and women. And a smart person knows human nature and can make anyone fancy him/herself. A person may be nice, positive and good in every way. People like that are loved and they try to help them and find favor in their eyes. Because people like that know how to get on well with people and live well and talk well.
And it's smart alecs who are not liked. Boastful people and showoffs are not liked as well as those who demonstrate their knowledge proving others to be idiots as compared to smart them. They don't like those who crave conflicts and regularly oppose themselves or suffer from superiority complexes etc.
A woman can really forgive the man she loves anything at all. As well as a man can forgive the woman he loves for anything. But it doesn't make scandals, screams and mutual reproaches disappear. What's more, it's not even the true reason for a conflict that may kill love but rather heart-to-heart talks it involves.
Women are much more stronger and smarter than men. Even because besides her own power and wits a woman may also use all advantages of her man. A symbiosis like this makes a woman a very dangerous opponent. As in fact, while conflicting with a woman one gets into a conflict with a group of people and two can always womp one.
Without wits the head resembles a balloon. It wants to laugh and fly, to fly and laugh. While thoughts are on the contrary, heavy and making one pull down to earth.
If one wants to fly, one should switch off the brain. The main thing about this state is not to talk to anyone (except those like-minded to you), not make any decisions and not do any important things.
However, there are dangers as well. A balloon can be gone with the wind in the unknown direction. But the main problem and danger is that a head without wits can be occupied by some external aggressor so that one will be easily controlled by someone else's thoughts.
It's better to be sarcastic and not rude. Lambent humor lets one express what one really wants without a conflict. Let opponents or enemies be themselves. Thus you give them an opportunity to give up. But being rude and assaulting their honor you leave them no other choice but to attack you.
People who are used to being offended or hurt really often, gradually start to like it. In time, they will start to like suffering. As they won't be able to live another way. And absence of suffering makes them feel scared and unconfident. Thus, they simply need to feel hurt in order to feel comfortable. It helps them get ridof fears and feel confident.
And finally, if no one hurts or upsets them, they will subconsciously provoke quarrels with others and find reasons for suffering.
Show hate and disrespect to the object of your fear and try to cause a conflict by this provocative behaviour. Forget about friendliness and make the object of your fear be the first to react and say something. It's called provocation. The one who is the first to open a mouth will be considered an aggressor. And since no one likes aggressors it will be easy to destroy one. A justified war against an aggressor is always a better thing than a treacherous attack.
- The truth. He who got the truth and justice with himself, got the great power. - If you overcame your fears and they left you. You laugh at your enemies and despise them. You killed all your fears. Remember that fearless people are terribly powerful. - Hatred and fierce anger feed your power. Your hatred towards aggressors destroys everything on its way. - You make yourself gain critical mass, and then explode. The power of explosion is great. - The things to protect are right behind your back: your children, your house, your honor and your territory. - You fight with the evil, ghouls, demons and slavery... Your mission is right, so you will win. - «A hero is full of joy». If your actions are right than you're a hero. And since you're a hero, you're happy and excited. Struggling makes you very happy and enthusiastic. And your enthusiasm makes you even happier. You're great. You're absolutely pure. All your fears have left you. You're a superpower. You're a star.
Just imagine the way it appears to onlookers! People look at you and see you as a star, a hero, an idol... …the best among people… People love you and respect you... People scream all honor to you our hero!!!!
Your enemy fool you? Betray you? Your enemy sneer and laugh at you? Your enemy want to harm you? Your enemy want to deprive you of income? Your enemy want to deprive your children of food and shelter? Your enemy want to steal what is only yours? Is your enemy an evil demon ghoul craving for your blood?
Well,congratulations, the power is with you. Now you can destroy anyone.
Most diseases that people get result from constant tension and living in the mobilization mode. Everyone constantly expects something, has conflicts, gets angry, hates something or feels disgust to something around. It all creates tension. Hence, if one is prescribed peaceful life far from any sources of stress, most diseases will soon disappear.