Education of children is not reduced to the concept of "who is a good child", but the answer to the question: "Who is a well-mannered parent?". Bad parents can't raise good children. The problem is that parents do not know or are deeply mistaken in the question "how to be good?".
Parents should restrain and not restrain the child in his desires in order to bring up a harmonious child. Push and to show anger is undesirable, it is better to remain calm. It is undesirable to show children that they do not meet expectations, it creates fear and aggression in them.
Mental personality disorders arise when educators begin sweroside to suppress in the child the negative manifestations of personality. As a result, one decreases, the other disproportionately increases, and in the system there is a huge tension, up to the destruction of the personality and its fragmentation. In the human personality should be all and that all must compete to keep each other.
The child wanted to learn to play the guitar, he was sent to study piano. The child wanted to do Boxing, he was sent to Aikido. The child wanted one thing, he imposed another. It is violence, it is pride on the part of parents, it teaches children lies, and lies generate fear, hatred and vices.
Usually the over-love of the child is expressed in the parents ' over-control over him. The parent falls in love with the child to the level of fusion of his personality with his, to the level of possession. A stronger parental personality suppresses the child's weak personality, enveloping him in overcontrol, which leads to the degradation of the child's personality and the development of a number of mental diseases.
Punishment for misconduct should not be solitary, but should be stretched over time. Single events are not perceived as something serious. Truth is a repetitive action. The punishment for wrongdoing and atonement should take a long time. Moreover, until the redemption of guilt, the punished should not receive any rewards and incentives. Otherwise, negative behavior will become a neurotic cycle aimed at attracting attention and the joy of forgiveness through negative behavior. Formed hysterical personality violation. The punished may think that if I am forgiven or not severely punished, then I am loved. And to start to achieve love and satisfaction. The punishment should be long, painful and unpleasant.
The development of mental illness in a person is usually associated with his parents. A mother who does not know how to love, envelops the child with supercontrol and over-care, suppresses the personality of the child, destroying his psyche. Such a child is poorly adapted to the surrounding reality, full of fears and prejudices. The personality of the child is depressed and dependent.
There is nothing scarier for a child than his mother’s arrogance. Arrogance wants domination. Arrogance transforms love into the thirst for power. A mother dominating her child suppresses his personality and transforms him into a schizophrenic.
A mother teaches a child to love... fulfilling his every desire, is making a big mistake. She teaches him that love is the fulfillment of desires, and, therefore, the one who dared not fulfill at least one of his desires, does not love him and, therefore, there is evil and the enemy that causes fear, anger and hatred... Fleeing from enemies, the enemies hate the near enemy wither and fade, sinking into apathy and laziness.
I do not advise you to abuse memory training, the better a person's memory, the more he is an idiot. Why would he? He remembers everything by heart. However, bad memory is also not a sign of a big mind.
The main problem with children is that people don't know how to be good parents. The problem with families is that people don't know how to be a good husband or wife. People don't know how to be good friends. How to be an honest person. How to be a good person. How to be a strong person. How to be human.
A child is a reflection of his parents, which is controlled through the management of himself and the external circumstances that surround the child. With a child who fell into fear and denial of reality (aggression is the main symptom of fear and unpreparedness for real life), you need to work out, communicate, teach him life. This is not one conversation from the category of "please be an ideal child and then you gingerbread" and not an exorcism procedure for expulsion from the sinner of the devil. This is a long and painstaking educational process. There are no problems, just a small and immature soul is extremely afraid of the real world, can not live, can not communicate... from which falls into the rage of a wild beast. The problem is solvable, it would be on that desire, patience and goodwill.
Parents, do not be shy, come and consult a psychologist. Even if nothing new is told to You, You will be strengthened in the belief that You are doing everything right. (Or, conversely, wrong... Anything can happen.)
The child is an ordinary soldier, parents are Junior officers, teachers and psychologists are senior officers and generals. In principle, to influence the child, a child psychologist does not even have to talk to him, it will be enough to communicate with parents and explain to them how the elder should manage the younger.
Teach the wisdom of how to teach the children the letter. First, hold the hand and trace the letters, then the student circles the letters, following the pattern, then he writes without a sample... And this is only the first step to reason, for a child who can write and read is not yet an adult.
To order need to accustom the child from birth... Order kills fear. If there is order, there will be no fear. Therefore, you need to feed the child on a schedule, as watered plants. Hug and carry on the hands of the child should be dosed. Everything needs a measure and order.
Before the birth of a child, the mother neurotically loves her husband, then her husband removes love and throws it on the child, the husband without love dies from the cold, and the child, on the contrary, love burns. As a result, everyone suffers.
Allowing the child to sit on his hands for a long time, sleep with his mother, the mother concentrates it on his love and turns into a neurotic. Now, when a child is separated from his mother, he feels fear and anger. Now the child will be paranoid with delusions of vanity.
A child focused on loving his mother will fear and dislike everything that his mother takes away from him... father, mother's work, kindergarten, school and everything that a mother loves and distracts from her child.
The neurotic child is looking for love, but does not want to pay for love. He reaches out to other children, wanting love from them, but giving them nothing in return... gets nothing from them. It Angers him and he attacks other children, and those in response.
Leaving the comfort zone means that you do not undertake easy, but for heavy tasks. You do difficult, uninteresting, heavy, terrible, unclear, that is not desirable and causes concern... This approach to life trains you and makes you stronger.