There are heavy things and there are light things. Passion and self-supporting thirst are heavy. Charm intertwined with fear. The heaviest thing is the desire to possess an illusion because you are aspiring to possess something nonexistent.
If you really love this person, then you are happy that he is in the world and you can sometimes take care of him... and the desire to own it and control it individually is a story about the ring of Sauron.
A man who has made an idol of his wife becomes dependent on sex, it seems to him that sex gives him strength and energy. In fact, it's all self-deception. In reality, this person is afraid of losing his wife, and since he himself views her as a source of pleasure, he subconsciously thinks that she also views him in the same way. It seems to him that if she does not have a crazy orgasm or she is not happy 24 hours a day, then she is unhappy and will definitely run away from him. The idea that My darling CAN run away is maddening.
"Is he a fool?" – Rather, ignorant, he just did not say as a child that less is better than more. And now he doesn't trust anyone.
Vices need the Holy Ghost. Holiness makes a person too strong, and the feeling of power fills the soul with pride. A little Vice protects the human soul from hellish suffering. However, pride does not give up, pride is a lie. A lie whispers to its slave - you are perfect, you are the smartest, all the people around you are despicable fools. You are the only one who is so special, the vicar of God on Earth.
A proud person is a person who is dependent on happiness and love, who is chronically unhappy and is not loved by anyone. The proud man does not know that the less, the more. The proud man does not know that what you run after runs away. The proud man does not know that it is impossible to rule over love. "My treasure» the proud man whispers, with quivering lips, to his loveliness:"Give me a little love." But no… Pride and happiness are incompatible.
"My beauty" - you whisper, dying of horror that the ring of power will disappear. You feel like you are the master, and pleasure runs through your brain like electricity when you touch the ring. You are a slave to pleasure. You are a rat who would die for a piece of sugar. You console yourself that you are in control of the situation, you say: "This is sugar for me. The meaning of my life is sugar... " You tremble with horror that the sugar will disappear. You ask yourself: "Am I a trembling creature or a man?" and you answer wearily: "Of course, beast! For a lump of sugar I would be a beast and a slave." But still, somewhere in the back of your mind whispers a small voice:"...how to kill a slave in yourself?» It's not easy. Chekov had spent his entire life squeezing a slave out of himself. Moses led people 40 years in the desert. Velimir Khlebnikov wrote: "Freedom comes naked." Oh, this freedom, so sweet, but available only to heroes.
What causes fear, from too much self-love. You are so afraid of your beauty that you are like a princess on a pea, even afraid of sneezing. So what if you die or suffer. Who cares about your happiness, plans or dreams. You think too highly of yourself, relax, do not push, otherwise you will earn hemorrhoids.
A saint is as extreme as a sinner. In this sense, Saints are no better than sinners, and holiness is no better than vice. Holiness is another facet of pride.
One female lawyer got the biggest problem with everything in the world because she always won her lawsuits and was very happy. This gave rise to insomnia, depression, Psychosomatics, panic attacks and many other charms. The moral: good should be a little.
Corrupting a child with freedom and love turns him either into a narcissistic tyrant or he degrades to a yeast fungus or cyanobacteria. Busting control over the child generates the same effect. Moderation is needed to save a lovely child.
Idealists are drug addicts by nature, for their ideals are as narrow as the Procrustean bed. There is very little that can correspond to these ideals, so the ideal becomes super-valuable. Meeting something similar to his ideal, a person becomes stupid from a greedy thirst to devour him. The thirst for power over his ideal Super-Value literally drives the unfortunate crazy.
Parents who think their children are perfect make their lives hell. Such children feel that they do not correspond to the ideal and begin to be ashamed of themselves. It doesn't matter if they think the child is already perfect, or try to force him to be perfect. The former are under the spell of loveliness, the latter are angry and suffer, trying to create this loveliness. Interestingly, the desire of the second to the ideal is expressed in disregard for the real child. However, the first also love not a real person, but their fantasies.
Many respectable and good people have hell in their families. Why is this happening? Because from afar, lies and hypocrisy are similar to truth and holiness, but close people see the real person perfectly. God sees everything, you cannot deceive God.
Shame might have saved the narcissist, but narcissists fear shame like fire, and as soon as they feel it coming, they put on the clothes of self-deception and hypocritical holiness. "I have nothing to be ashamed of, I am beautiful and perfect" Narcissus says, enjoying his self-deception.
The gaze of the dreamy is clouded by the charm of illusions. Dreamy as a blind man, can't see he values the real world, but what is not, turns into a super-value. The dreamy one is like the inebriated one, running away from reality.