There's nothing personal about pain. Pain is the universal essence of being, which is evenly distributed among all living beings. In fact, we live in pain, you can't run away from it, you don't need to run after it.
What is the offense? The usual pride and lust for power. Someone doesn't behave the way you want them to, but they don't behave the way you want them to... Scoundrel... Anger and contempt overwhelms the proud man's soul for anyone who does not want to be his slave.
Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't feel sorry for yourself under any circumstances. If you feel sorry for yourself even for a second, you will fall into despondency, and you will strangle yourself with anguish. There is no reason for self-pity, you are the blind weapon of fate. You do what the rock tells you to do.
You made up all your fears when you cheated yourself. Now, when you try to break your fear, you prove to yourself that you are a liar. The problem is that you also invented all your joys and exploits. You made up the whole world around you, and now that the whole world is collapsing, you're crying.
The inability to satisfy greed breeds despondency. The greed of pride inevitably breeds exhaustion and despondency. Despondency is a loss of faith. There is no faith, no love, no movement, but there is fear. Fear breeds pride.
Resentment is a situation when an addict was not given another dose of the drug. "I want, I need, but they don't give me" - the addict cries, decrying the injustice of the world. Don't respect me, don't love me, ignore me, unfair to me…
The problem is that you are afraid of your own weakness. I'm afraid of the pain. You're afraid when you feel bad. And don't be afraid, treat this case as a service function for cleaning the soul from soot and soot associated with an excess of joy and pleasure in the body. To be happy, you need to suffer periodically.
Self-pity can be seen as a drug breakdown, due to lack of external love. They don’t love me, a person dependent on love experiences and cries. To stabilize the situation, you need to fast and suffer steadily, waiting for the body to clear itself and be ready to love again.