Nothing makes sense... Halls are endless. There's a dead end behind any door. Good sense turning into laziness,... suggests that one should stop and die...
But stupidity warmed by hope makes one raise and crawl forward slowly, to face a better future that slightly resembles an illusion...
Meaningless work is necessary to make the system foolproof. While the fools are distracted by a meaningless activity, vital elements of the system are safe.
Your problem is that you think something is unimportant. You read obliquely, not from the beginning, not to the end, and you miss a lot. Instead of a complete knowledge in your head is formed something like a jumbled and meaningless pile of puzzles. Everything is true, every detail is important.
Meaninglessness and lack of awareness of the goal generates laziness, energy saving mode. In order for the body to give energy, you need to clearly love and realize your goal.
A life devoid of meaning, gives birth to death, devoid of meaning. The prospect of a senseless death creates a terrible fear and pain. Those whose lives are meaningless live in eternal fear of waiting for death.
It is pointless to be afraid and worry, turn on your curiosity and contemplate the situation from above. All these rumors and fears, all this is not yet. You should work with what you have. Everything else is still speculation.
The point is, you can do whatever you're doing, just don't be nervous or afraid. It is bad for your health to be nervous, then it is expensive and painful to be treated. Just believe that you are doing everything right and there is no point in being afraid. However, it is simply pointless to be afraid.