It is necessary to distinguish self-confidence from confidence. Self-confidence denies fear, that is, runs away from it, and confidence resigns itself to fear and ponders how to conquer it.
To love yourself is not to love yourself. True love is when love is inside you and you serve your mission in life. Self-esteem and self-love is based on the realization that you have love in you, and you have the courage to serve it.
Because you don't love yourself, you're constantly afraid that others don't love you. You need constant signs of love, otherwise you're going crazy. Not to love yourself badly, you should treat yourself better.
Wrestling (judo, Sambo, etc.) develops self-confidence in children. Such a child is not afraid of violation of the comfort zone, do not confuse him and touches. On the contrary, coming closer, he feels confident that he is in control of the situation, everything is in his hands.
Self-esteem must be based on many internal and external sources, otherwise there will be a paranoid fear of losing the source of self-esteem. The loss of an external source of self-esteem can destroy the personality, plunging it into a swamp of depression.
Positive self-esteem is good, but the question is how it is obtained. Lies and truth equally well raise self-esteem, question only in vector its growth.